just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
