i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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