Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
