Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Randomize
