I just cut my nipple shaving
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
are you so shy because you have an std?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
