eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
