I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
