Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My vagina just clenched in fear
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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