i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
