they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
