my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
