Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
