they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
