Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
