I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
