even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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