O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
