i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
