Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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