Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
