I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize