I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
