You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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