Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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