Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Say something about gay babies.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
