im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
