He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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