all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
