i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
