so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
