I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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