Swine flu. Run for my life!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
