Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
