Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
