dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize