It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
