it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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