who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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