I hope mine doesn't look like that
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
How naked do you want me to be?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
