btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
