i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
