He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
