she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
