thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
