Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize