I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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