dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She swung at the pinata with crutches
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
