They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
