the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
