if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
