How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
