in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
