It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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