That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I deserve this hangover.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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