I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
