I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
