we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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