Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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