Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
